"A crazy, beautiful, tortured place"

I am sitting in my room as I write in this blog, while I ice my ankle waiting for my appointment to the doctor with mama H… needless to say, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote in (don’t worry mom its nothing serious!!).

The first few entries I have on this blog have been nothing but positive experiences during my time in Africa, and since then, I have finally seen some of the ugly parts of this country.

Firstly AIFS whom I came here with has experienced our first loss of a family member within our group. Brooke, one of my closer friends within the group, found out almost three weeks in to the program that her brother had committed suicide. She immediately flew home for the funeral and to be with her family, and came back only a week later. She is truly an inspiration and one of the strongest people I am so grateful to have ever met. I honestly do not think I could have come back here if I were to have experienced something as similar. One thing she said that stuck out to me when I talked to her about her coming back and how strong she is for doing so is, “it was never a matter of whether or not I would come back, but when”. I can only imagine going through something like that and I have become even more incredibly grateful for my family and friends in my life and so much more aware of how short life is.

As I have mentioned before, I am taking a Cultural differences and Peacemaking class with an instructor who inspires me everyday to be a better person. I can only wish I had him with me when I experienced my first taste of racism in my life.  One of me and Hannah’s friends who we met here was having his last night in Stellenbosch before he moved to New York to go get his doctorate in hopes of becoming a surgeon. We planned on taking him out for some drinks and to celebrate this new chapter he was about to embark on in his life. (I must mention, in order to understand this experience, that this friend of ours is African American and from Cape Town) I left our group of people to go get some drinks for all of us when a young guy sitting next to me asked if he could buy me a drink. I am a baller on a budget and if anyone is going to offer to pay for anything, I can’t say I am going to turn it down. While I talked to him for a little while he asked me what I was doing talking to “that guy” over there. Me being the clueless American, I explain that it’s his last night in Stellenbosch and is going to become a doctor. He proceeded to make a number of statements about how it is wrong to associate with black people, that interracial relationships are looked down upon and that it plain and simply was not right. I explained to him that indeed I used to date someone who was black and that I couldn’t believe what he was saying. After getting a number of rude comments from him because I did not have the same beliefs and how disgusted he was to have bought me that drink, I had to leave. The next day in my peacemaking class Terry (my instructor) spoke about how we are all on this “Africa high” and soon enough we are all going to have that moment where we experience the ugly and messed up part of this country. He spoke about how to handle people like the man I met, and how to stay calm, don’t get upset, don’t get worked up, don’t swear, don’t raise your voice and don’t resort to violence. Just take yourself out of the situation, and politely leave. In other words, don’t do at all what I did. If I could I would go back and handle it in a completely different way and not get so offended, but I can’t so all I can do is handle it better next time. On the positive, at least I got a free drink and he lost money.

Although that was probably the most negative experience I have had since I have been here, in some ways I am happy that it did happen. It has made me much more aware that I really am in a different country with different views and a history that is still so prevalent and how grateful I really am to live in a country where race is not an issue. One thing Terry said in class that has stuck in my head is that “Africa is a crazy, beautiful, tortured place and one needs to experience every aspect of it good or bad.”

On a much lighter note, my classes are amazing. I am making a pair of swanky earrings in jewelry and am getting back in to drawing. I obviously love my peacemaking class and always look forward to it (minus the 9 in the morning part). I had my first HIV and AIDS: a South African Perspective class last Thursday and it was eye opening. We took a trip to Kayamandi where we broke into groups along with kids who are from Kayamandi in order to come up with ideas to help their community. Khanysi ( our member from Kayamandi) talked to us about the prevalence of AIDS in the community as well as how uninformed people are about simple tasks like cooking, cleaning and especially things like using tools in order to fix up things in their houses. She took us on a tour around her community and for the first time I felt like the minority. I couldn’t help but feel like I wish I wasn’t white when we were walking through people’s houses that housed up to 8 people in two rooms, had roofs that needed mending and neighborhoods with trash scattered everywhere. It was hard to ask Khanysi questions about her community because I didn’t want to offend her or make her feel uncomfortable, but she was open about all that we were seeing and let us know that the Kayamandi community needs help not only for the children, but also for the adults. I am really eager to start on my groups’ project for the community and will keep updating about it on the blog.

Last night I just got back from the Cederberg trip and it was incredible. One of the most beautiful places I have ever been and one of the most memorable weekends I have had yet. We went on an incredible hike where we climbed through these caves that led us to the top of the mountain just outside of where we were housed. I can’t really even explain the beauty of the trip and the pictures don’t even give it justice.

Last week I had rolled my ankle pretty badly and like the stubborn person I am, I denied the fact that it was bad at all and just explained to people I had kankles. After the hike mama H noticed it and the jig was up. She has put me on bed rest with ice strapped to me and is bringing me to the doctor later this evening to make sure everything is fine. Don’t know what I would do without her.

Otherwise I feel great, I am having the time of my life and have never felt as happy as I am here.